Why Play Matters
Understanding the Heart of Play Therapy for Neurodivergent Children
If you’ve ever watched a child line up dinosaurs by color, bury their action figures in kinetic sand, or make the same doll say the same thing over and over—you might be witnessing more than just play. You might be witnessing communication.
At Wayfinding Therapy, I often tell parents: Play is a child’s first language. Before they have the words to explain what they’re feeling, children show us through story, movement, repetition, and imagination. This is especially true for neurodivergent children; those whose brains process the world in sensory rich, layered, and sometimes overwhelming ways.
For these kids, traditional talk therapy can feel like asking them to communicate in a language that is at best not preferred if not foreign altogether. Play therapy meets children where they are and allows expression, regulation, and insight to emerge on their terms.
What the Research Shows
In the book Spark! by John J. Ratey, M.D., we learn just how powerful movement and creative expression can be for the brain. Play is not just a developmental phase—it is how children integrate information, regulate their nervous systems, and learn about the world. It lights up the brain in the same regions responsible for attention, executive functioning, emotional control, and social engagement.
For neurodivergent children—those with ADHD, autism, sensory sensitivities, or learning differences—play becomes a safe communication tool and a space to explore what may otherwise be too overwhelming to process. It lets them lead. And when a child leads, we learn.
What a Trained Play Therapist Sees
Play therapy might look like coloring, dress-up, storytelling, or bouncing a ball. However, beneath the surface, something meaningful is unfolding. The toys a child chooses, the stories they repeat, and the roles they assign all tell us something vital.
A trained play therapist is attuned to these patterns. We watch for themes, emotional tone, pacing, and relationships within the play. We look at how the child solves problems, manages frustration, tests boundaries, or retreats. These moments give us insight into how they move through the world—and offer ways to gently build skills around regulation, communication, and connection.
Through play, children are constantly giving us information—information that would be nearly impossible for them to put into words. The choices they make during play—the games they return to, the characters they favor, the stories they construct—are all windows into their emotional world. This is where play becomes not just expressive, but a therapeutic tool.
From this place, a therapist trained in play can gently offer guidance: helping children build social skills, understand their feelings, and navigate challenges in a way that feels accessible, safe, and empowering. We’re not just playing—we’re connecting, attuning, and addressing core issues at a level children can actually reach.
A Note to Parents
If you’re reading this because your child is struggling, I want you to know—you’re not alone.
Maybe your child is having a hard time at school. Teachers may have mentioned that they’re falling behind, acting out, zoning out, or struggling to connect socially. You may have seen their confidence shift—or noticed they’re trying hard to keep up but coming home overwhelmed, exhausted, or shut down.
Maybe you’re seeing it at home. Frequent meltdowns over small things. Power struggles around routines or screens. Difficulty with emotional regulation or following directions. You’ve tried your best—you’ve stayed patient, set boundaries, offered encouragement—but something still feels off.
It’s not your fault. And your child isn’t broken.
Play therapy offers a developmentally appropriate, nonjudgmental, and compassionate way to help your child explore their emotions, strengthen executive functioning, and build meaningful emotional tools. It’s not about forcing change—it’s about creating connection. It’s about honoring your child’s unique way of moving through the world and supporting them with tools that fit.
You don’t have to do this alone. And neither does your child.
Play therapy and movement-based approaches work—but what also makes them effective is who your child is working with. As a therapist who is also neurodivergent, I don’t just understand your child’s experience from a clinical perspective or something I read in a book—I recognize it. And children can feel that. Sometimes, the most healing thing in the room isn’t what’s said—it’s what’s felt. It’s the mirror of recognition. It’s being met by someone who sees them clearly, not because they’ve studied them—but because they understand from the inside.
It’s that moment when something shifts. When a child begins to feel seen, not scrutinized, they realize they’re not “too much” or “not enough”—just understood. And from that place of safety, real growth can begin.
Recommended Resource:
One of the books that shaped my passion for this work is Spark! by John J. Ratey, M.D. It beautifully explains the science behind movement, play, and brain development—and why these things are not extras, but essentials, especially for neurodivergent learners.
